Another One Bites The Dust

Maybe the title should be another one doesn't bite the dust.  All I know is in the last 8 years I have gone through three vacuum cleaners:  a Hoover, a Bissell, and a Dirt Devil.  There may even have been a fourth one, it is all a blur. 

Last week I decided to vacuum on my lunch.  After vacuuming 4 rooms I went to empty the dirt container and found all my hard work had resulted in less than a small handful of debris. Our vacuum has had some issues lately. It had gotten to where I had to reach up inside the vacuum (let me just say "yuck") and open the "trap door" so what gunk had collected above it would fall down into the dirt reservoir.  So I did this process, certain that when I did a gallon or so of dirt would fall out.  

There was nothing there.  

Sigh.

With two basset hounds and the average amount of dust that collects in any home  I should have been rewarded with much more than a small handful of dirt. 

I sighed again.  

Seriously?  I spent my lunch vacuuming and this was all I had to show for it?

I immediately sent Michael a text to let him know we needed to get a new vacuum.  We don't like spending a lot of money on a vacuum (obviously), but I was tired of purchasing a new one every 2 years so I was aiming high.  I had my eye on a Dyson on clearance for $479.

Yes, you read that right,  clearance - $479.  There are a lot of things I am willing to spend $479 on (a vet bill, hockey tickets, groceries, a year's supply of chai),  but typically a vacuum is not one of them. 

I remember decades ago my Mom owned a Kenmore canister vacuum.  She had that vacuum for 20+ years.  When she pulled it out of the closet you instantly knew it had been through many wars.  The canister had scuffs and marks from where it had run into the walls and furniture over the years. If Mom was vacuuming and that canister was headed toward you, you got out of the way! That thing was built like a tank!  But the most telling sign of its age was the hose leading from the canister to the vacuum head - it had layers of silver duct tape covering a multitude of holes.  Sometimes I think there was more duct tape there than hose!  That vacuum worked like a trooper.  But every time I saw that duct tape-covered hose I thought one thing, "Why doesn't Mom just get a new vacuum?"

Now I know.

It is because they are absolutely no fun to shop for!  I rank vacuum shopping right up there with root canals.   

Blech.  

As we headed to the store I was anxiously awaiting this Dyson.  I had visions of seeing a halo of light surrounding it and hearing a heavenly choir singing "Ahhhhh" as I approached it.  I expected to hear this vacuum calling to me, saying, "Me, me!  I'm the one! I won't let you down!"  And it had to have a cupholder, maybe even an onboard radio and headphones so you could enjoy some music while vacuuming.  After all, $479 should look pretty special, right?

Unfortunately not.  

Once at the store we looked at the Dyson. It didn't look anymore special than all the others lined up there. It looked like..... a vacuum.  

Sigh.  I was so disappointed. 

We looked at a Shark. We looked at the Dyson.  We looked at the Shark again, then back at the Dyson again.  Michael was looking at some of the brands we had bought before, but  I refused to even go there.  Those brands had their chance. 

Michael encouraged me to get what I wanted, he knew I was frustrated with making vacuum purchases every few years.  I really wanted to love the Dyson and walk out of that store knowing that whatever landed on the carpet - dirt, fur, a small animal -  that baby would pick it up. 

Okay I really wouldn't vacuum up a small animal, but I wanted a vacuum that was confident it could do it!

But honestly, I just couldn't fall in love with the Dyson enough to want to spend $479 on it.  There was no halo, no heavenly choir, no onboard radio with a headset, not even a cupholder.

So I sighed.... again. 

(Sighing is a big part of vacuum shopping for me.)

With my voice showing the amount of enthusiasm I would reserve for picking out worms for fish bait,  I sighed one last time, pointed to the Shark, and said, "Let's get the Shark.  If it dies within 2 years then we will buy a Dyson."  

I oozed pure joy and confidence with that statement....not.

So we headed home with a new vacuum in tow.  

The downside of the evening:  we spent it shopping for a vacuum.  
The upside of the evening:  we didn't spent $479....

...yet.