Grumbling

I've had something that I have been spending a lot of time worrying about, praying about, thinking about, complaining about, and yes -  grumbling about. 

I've been the Queen of The Grumblers when it comes to this topic. 

If you've had a conversation with me in the last year or two you have likely heard me complain about this. 

I apologize. 

I know that God answers prayer, not always in the way we want, but things work out as He has planned, in His time.  So why when I know that do I keep being such a complainoramus on this subject?  I really try to be a positive person, but some days it is just so hard.

It is difficult to let go and let God handle things.  I feel like I want to march up to the front of the bus and tell the driver (God) "Seriously, I know what I'm doing, just let me take over."  Then I have a lucid moment and realize God is probably laughing and saying the same thing our daughter-in-law Melissa says to me, "Oh, Barb."  While I may not always like the unknown of the road ahead, (I prefer to know what is going to happen.. and soon please!) if left to my own devices of pushing God out of the driver's seat the result is pretty easy to guess: 

I'd be in a ditch before long. 

'Nuf said.

So last week I thought about how much I have prayed about this, but also about how much I have complained about this.  I've let it zap a lot of joy out of me.  I thought about how this must look to God. 

Every day He gives us is a gift, and here I am complaining about things that I know He has put together for me.  I may not have the result I have been looking for (yet), and while I may feel this is something I have to handle, I do not.  God has it under control.  What looks like chaos in this aspect of my life is being carefully choregraphed by Him... and I have the nerve to complain about it!??  (Not just once, but over and over and over). It's like receiving a gift and then grumbling about it.

So while I can't promise perfection I'm going to try to be more patient (my husband will laugh at that) and know that in time the reason for where I'm at now with this issue will be known to me.  I just have to trust and have faith, which I do.

So I have a crown I'd like to give away.

The Queen of the Grumblers has decided to retire .

Being the Queen isn't all it's cracked up to be.