Memory

I used to have one. 

 I'm not sure where I put it. 

I lost it sometime between December 2009 and November 2010.  It's about the time I started having "my own personal summers" or any other euphemisms you can think of for perimenopause.  I used to have it so together.  I would have a mental list of 7-8 things I wanted to do and I would zip around the house from room to room and in short order those tasks were all completed.  I remember those days.  Which I guess is good, but if I can remember that kind of stuff... why can't I remember the super easy things? 

 Like:   "What did you have for lunch today?" 

(I hate that question!  A question that easy should not result in a blank stare.... it should be a simple answer!  I can only imagine what goes through my husband's mind as I sit there staring off in the distance as if the answer is going to be written on the wall somewhere.)

Then there is:   "Did I already tell him/her this story?"

(The worst part?  This thought comes to mind halfway through the story I am telling and the person I am talking with either says,  "Yeah, you already told me that," or even worse, my memory finally clicks in and I realize I DID already tell them this story and they are just being too nice to say so!)

And the one I struggle with a lot lately: "Did I feed the dog???" 

(Poor Belle.  In those moments when I'm not sure I look at her and ask, "Did I feed you?", as if she is going to suddenly speak "people" and tell me the answer.  I'm going to have to attach something to her similar to what you see for dishwashers - you know - the  "clean" versus "dirty" reminder.  Only Belle's will read "Feed me you dingbat" or "Relax...you fed me already!" )

But there are so many "moments" I've had. 

Here's one:    One day Michael and I were at Office Depot.  While at the checkout the clerk says, "What is your zip code?"  I responded - then looked at Michael and said, "Is that right?"  Seriously - the clerk had to think I was out on a day pass or something.

Then there's the time we were picking out things for the kitchen during the redo and I kept calling the faucet the "sink". It wasn't a one time thing, it was over and over and over.  By the third and fourth time both the kitchen designer and my husband had stopped nicely correcting me - and were going on with the conversation, realizing I was going to keep saying "sink" no matter what.  Sometimes it's best just to go with the flow.   (Flow - faucet joke- get it?)

And if you put two perimenopausal women together - there's just no telling what is going to happen.  You know the saying "Two heads are better than one" - well that isn't the case if they belong to two perimenopausal women.  Here's a for instance:

My friend Robin and I were in Des Moines - we get together and go shopping, go out to eat, etc.  We went to school together and have been able to get reacquainted since my move to this area 7 years ago.  We are the same age... so deal with some of the same memory issues.  We are surprised our husbands let us get together like they do, as each of us alone can be dangerous enough, but the two of us together in a mental fog?  Let's just say SCARY, but entertaining! 

We were leaving a restaurant in West Des Moines - Jordan Creek Town Centre to be exact.  I put my doggie bag in the back of her SUV.  She has all kinds of gadgets on her car that I don't have, which includes a button to lower and raise the hatch from inside.  After putting my doggy bag away,  I assumed she was going to close the hatch from inside... and she thought  I had closed it from the outside. So she backs out of her parking spot,  cars all around us, and we start to drive away oblivious to the fact that the hatch is open. And we're not just talking open a bit, we are talking ALL THE WAY UP!  After going about a block she suddenly stopped.  It wasn't the open air coming in the car, our purchases in the back blowing around,  being able to hear outside sounds too well, or the odd looks we were getting that made her realize the hatch was open.  No, it was the fact that she thought she could see too well out of the back - it just looked too clear!  (You gotta love the way we females view things!)  We about died laughing - wondering what people were thinking of us - and amazed that we didn't hit something with that open hatch.  I'm convinced God takes extra special care to watch out for perimenopausal women.  I think He figures He owes us that much :)

It's a good thing my husband has a wonderful sense of humor and helps me along in these moments. I told Michael it has to be like living with a 5-year-old at times.  As frustrating as it can be, we just find the humor in it and laugh.   Luckily the kids do too.  Everyone helps me out when needed and points me in the right direction.

I have heard "Oh, Barb" numerous times, from numerous people. But to all the younger females - just you wait!  Your time will be coming.  I just hope I am cognizant enough to be able to enjoy seeing someone else go through it.

So if you see me out and about and I start to tell you a story I have told you numerous times, just go with the flow and act like it is new to you.  And if I say, "Did I already tell you this?"  Just say "No" (convincingly) and let me continue.

And if you see my memory around somewhere, would you send it home to me? 

 I'll get back to you with the zip code.