Just Visiting

It is said when we dream about those we have loved and lost they are not simply dreams, but it is their way of visiting us, spending time with us, saying "hello."

I love when my Mom and Dad pop in for a visit.  They often visit in the context of a family get together so I get to "see" my siblings too.  Just as special are the one-on-one visits with them. 

One time when my mom visited we spent the longest time together and did a lot of walking.  I remember wondering how my mom was walking so effortlessly, as typically she struggled to breathe with any amount of activity, but in that visit we walked on and on.   Then at one point she started walking away from me. As hard as I tried I could not catch up to her.  The faster I went the farther ahead she seemed to get until  she finally disappeared from sight. 

It was as if she was saying, "You can't come with me right now."

Our beautiful, stubborn basset Belle, loved spending time with her "D-A-D, Dad."  On the weekends I was usually up early with the dogs and let Michael sleep in.  I would completely close the bedroom door until it latched shut so Belle would not go in and wake Michael. 

A closed door meant nothing more than a mere speed bump to Belle.  I can't count the number of times I would just be settling down on a weekend morning with a cup of chai and a blanket in the living room and I would hear "thump" followed by a slight "creak."  Belle had pushed her nose against the bedroom door hard enough to open a latched door, and waltzed in to check on Dad.

Many times the "thump", "creak" woke Michael and she would look at him as if to say, "Oh, you're awake!"   

Last week Michael dreamed she pushed the bedroom door open, came in and sat by his side of the bed, just gazing up at him.  Amazingly, it wasn't the gray-muzzled Belle we had grown so accustomed to seeing.  It was a younger Belle, one we would have trouble picturing right now no matter how hard we tried. With the passage of time you slowly grow accustomed to the changes and remembering Belle before that gray crept in is hard to do, but that's how she appeared to Michael. 

It was as if Belle was saying, "See Dad, I'm okay.  I just came to check on you and let you know I'm fine." 

Michael was so excited to tell me about his dream.  It meant so much to him.

It wasn't until later that we realized this had happened on a Saturday morning, the first Saturday morning since she had passed away.  Belle was keeping her usual weekend routine.

I admit I was jealous.  I thought, "Hey, what about me Belle???"

But I know I'll get a visit at some point in time.  She just needed to let her Dad know she was okay, and that she misses him as much as he misses her.